The By Products...

Some days I just feel like I am being watched. I have found that it is hard for me to be around crowds now. When there are so many different conversations going on and so many lives intertwined; there are so many emotions that people carry with themselves. I tend to find myself overwhelmed and I draw into myself and become quiet and antisocial. I am not sure why this is exactly but I am wondering if anyone else feels this way. When you allow yourself to become open, there are sometimes things that effect you that you are not expecting. I am assuming this is one aspect of that. Sometimes I get flashes of pictures, such as once when I walked into the bathroom, I pictured someone dead and bleeding, other times as I walk through the house in the dark to get a drink of water in the night I have had a vision of tripping over a body on the floor. In these circumstances I simply say "no" out loud. It may not be very loud, but it is verbalized none the less. I tell it that it is not accepted in my house and that it must leave. I am not sure what it is that makes me see those images or perhaps it is possibly my own over-active imagination and nothing more. But what I do know is that I am in control and so are you. Know who you are and know what you will tolerate your own mind to see and experience. You have the power to tell things to leave. You have the authority to take charge of your home and protect your family. My three year old told me once that there was a man in his room who called his name. When he answered "what?" the man got in his face. I told him if anything like that ever happened again to tell it "No!" and to tell it to go away, that is it not welcome and cannot be here. Since then he has not said anything else to me.