The Visitor

Nearly 2 years ago we had just built our first home and I gave birth to our second child; a daughter whom we named in memory of my mother. In the hospital I had complications giving birth. I knew my husband was holding my right hand and was standing by my right shoulder and I felt my mother-in-law holding my left hand and standing at my left side. After I had my daughter they rushed her into intensive care because she had fluid in her lungs and they had my husband go with her. This served two purposes, because they would not let him back in the room since they could not get my bleeding under control. I felt myself getting weak and tired; I was scared because no one would look me in the eyes. I kept telling myself I had to make sure my daughter was alright and I could not feel happy until I knew she was okay. They finally got things under control and moved me to another room where I got to hold her for the first time. Everyone let me rest for a while and I was in a daze as I was feeding her. I was talking with someone who was sitting in a chair at the end of my bed while I was holding my daughter. We had about a 20 minute conversation and I remember feeling very happy. My daughter sneezed and it jolted me more awake. I looked up and felt disoriented. "Wasn't there a chair at the end of my bed?" "Wasn't I talking with someone for a long while?" I felt confused as I tried to remember who I was talking to and where the chair went. I realized I was talking with my mom. I wish I could recall the conversation but I am sure it was filled with much love. A few weeks later, after things had settled, I spoke to my mother-in-law about the event. We talked about the delivery room and she said she thought about holding my other hand but for some reason felt that she shouldn't and that she had been near the midwife during the delivery in the hospital room. "Then who was holding my other hand?" We looked at each other and both knew; my Mom. Always keep asking.
-Britt