Goodbye Grandpa

This story comes from a new reader in Oregon. She requested to remain anonymous.

       When I was pregnant with my first child, my grandpa got really sick, so sick that hospice had to step in. At the time I was working as a hairdresser and I could set my own hours at the salon. When I was not working I would spend as much time as I could with him.  I was not ready for him to leave and I asked him to please hold on until I had my son so that he could hold him before he left us.

       He said he would try, but that God had a plan and it might not work out that way... The day before he passed, he got a really high fever. His hospice nurse told me I had to tell him that it was ok to let go. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but I knew I had to overcome my own sadness, because he deserved better. I whispered in his ear, "Let go Grandpa. I will be ok and I promise this child will hear stories about you!" He passed away that night. I woke up to the phone ringing and they gave me the news. I went straight over. Once we had laid him on the stretcher, I got my first contraction. I tried to keep quiet because they were not very close together. I waited at the house until the hospice nurse arrived. She took me into the other room and asked if I was alright. I explained that I believed I was in labor. She looked at me smiling sweetly and said, "That baby was waiting for a spirit."

       I had  my son a few days later; it was a very long labor. The first night that I was home, I was devastated that my husband made me put our son to bed in his own room. I heard him crying and got up to feed and change him. When I walked into the room, my grandpa was standing next to the crib looking at my son and my son was looking right back at him. It didn't occur to me that I should be afraid and because of this I was able to appreciate seeing my grandpa and their union. I was thrilled that he got to meet my son! I reached to pick him up and my grandpa grabbed my arm and looked me in the eye saying, "You're doing a good job. I'm proud of you." I turned to sit down and feed my son and had a sudden realization of what had just happened; he was gone and I was sublimely happy.

       I waited a long time before I told anyone because I was fearful that no one would believe me. Finally I broke down and shared my story with my grandma. She smiled at me and shared how he had come to her as well and thanked her for caring for him and told her how much he loved her.All in all, he visited my mother, my aunt, my grandma and I to say goodbye.