The second experience I had with communicating with those who have gone before us was just shy of the one year marker of my step brother's death. His best friend was driving under the influence and hit a tree. My mother-in-law asked me if I could also speak with him. I had not tried again in nearly a year. My entire view of what I believed was real and possible had shattered at its foundation and I struggled with this and feared for "doors I could not close" and what that might bring into my life and my home. I discussed my anxieties with a close friend of mine who claims to speak to her relatives quite regularly (perhaps a story for another day). She explained to me that my fears were true and that if I was not careful I could invite something "evil" into my world. However, she offered words of comfort and peace to me as she went on to explain that God is in control of these doors and that by going through Him and not by myself, that He was the one who was opening these doors and likewise He alone closes them, thus protecting me from any accidental "intrusions".
I meditated on this and prayed asking for his covering and blessing. I also asked my step brother's friend for his free will; if he so chose to comply. I began with the first question, so familiar to me now, "What would you like for me to tell your family?" I waited in silence in a quiet bathroom stall at work while I was on break. Nothing.
I began to think about him and the memories made me "feel" his presence again. This time it was different. I did not receive any message of words, but rather a vision of a muddy river bed where the stream came into a still pool before slowly spilling into the slow moving river and dirty sand covered the shores. These are common to see in many places in South Carolina where we lived. Not far from the small river was a house. It was white with two stories and a decent sized yard. Not much of anything was particularly interesting on the property aside from its distance to the tree line which led to the muddy water. I wasn't sure if what I was seeing was his version of Heaven, where he was "recovering" and happy or if this was a real place. Again, I asked another key question, "How will they know that this is really you?" I could only make out two words, "my cat." Now, being the person I am, I assumed he had lost a cat as a child and was now reacquainted with it where he was, but I am always careful never to give others my personal opinion because it could completely ruin the meaning. Since I am only human I cannot possibly know the significance of even the smallest detail. Therefore information, odd or not and sometimes not even complete, I try to relay it just as I receive it.
I told my mother-in-law what I had received and she kept it to herself, only to find out a few days later that he had been planning on building a house in a location very similar to my description. As for the cat, he had left it behind when he died... More often then not, I wish there were more answers and more closure. In this situation there may have been had the family been told, but my mother-in-law chose not to share it with them for fear of people approaching me and asking for my help. With my gift still in its infantcy this seemed like the safest option. Yet again, another choice. Maybe some day I will feel the need to share this with his family...we shall see.
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